


how (not) to catch a ghost

by Zen (Mandkips)



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Byleth only uses they/them pronouns in this!!!!, Multi, Nonbinary My Unit | Byleth, Slow Burn, Somehow i committed myself to writing the longest most unnecessary crack fic of all time, ghosthunting AU??????, this fic is a bunch of friendship spooky shit and REAL BAD JOKES all shoved into one
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2019-10-31
Packaged: 2020-11-08 00:06:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 17,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20826056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mandkips/pseuds/Zen
Summary: “Lorenz, you know he won’t shut up for the rest of the summer unless we go” Hilda says from the front seat. She’s looking in the side mirror casually fixing her lip gloss. “Besides, Marianne and I have been scoping the place for a week. No cameras or patrols. Place is practically a ghost town - pardon the pun”Marianne hums in agreement, following behind Raphael to the van door. “The amount of wildlife out here though is quite fascinating...  I wonder if I could get permission from the city to-”Claude interrupts with a click closing the camcorder screen. “Focus on the ghosts Marianne. We’re here for the supernatural tonight.”--Claude and the rest of the Golden Deer are (semi serious) paranormal investigators who may or may not try and break into the large semi-abandoned mansion that Byleth's living in. It turns out, maybe the paranormal very real, very mean, and Golden Deer are way in over their head.





	1. The Gang Enters A “Haunted House”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm apparently celebrating my October by writing the cheesiest ghost-hunting AU of all time. I'd apologize but. No you know what you clicked this. Please enjoy the terrible terrible chaos i've created.

“Claude I have to say, you’ve had a lot of dumb idea” Lorenz says as Leonie pulls the van up to the gate of a sprawling mansion in the middle of the woods. “But this is certainly one of the worst you’ve ever had”  
  
Claude doesn’t look up from his seat next to him, fiddling with the settings on his new camcorder. Raphael’s in the back with their more legit setup cradled in his big strong arms and their other less impressive cameras are in the trunk, but he likes to have his own. And between leafing through the footage from their video from last week and his half hearted job search, he hasn’t had any time to mess through the settings “And yet you’re still here, huh Lorenz”  
  
“Because I’m trying to keep you from committing a _ crime.” _ He huffs, as Ignatz has already pushed past them to the van door. “Aren’t you a _ law student? _ We are NOT breaking into the old mansion off Monastery Road, Claude”  
  
“It’s not breaking and entering!” He reasons. “The house has been abandoned for years! Technically the city owns it right now. I had Lysithea pull up records and everything. _ And _ I did my due diligence and pinged my contacts over at City Hall. Proper authorities should already have been notified. ”  
  
Lorenz’s disappointed aura softens, but he’s still frowning “I suppose you’re not a complete fool. But considering how close this is to our base, I’d hoped we’d proceed with a bit more caution.”  
  
“Lorenz, you know he won’t shut up for the rest of the summer unless we go” Hilda says from the front seat. She’s looking in the side mirror casually fixing her lip gloss. “Besides, Marianne and I have been scoping the place for a week. No cameras or patrols. Place is practically a ghost town - pardon the pun”   
  
Marianne hums in agreement, following behind Raphael to the van door. “The amount of wildlife out here though is quite fascinating... I wonder if I could get permission from the city to-”  
  
Claude interrupts with a click closing the camcorder screen. “Focus on the ghosts Marianne. We’re here for the supernatural tonight.”  
  
“Man, I wish Lysithea would have come” Ignatz says as he stares out at the house. “This place is a stunning example of Pre-war architecture”  
  
“I’m sure she’d appreciate the sentiment” Leonie laughs, slamming the car door behind her. “But you’ll never talk her out on one of these. Fear of ghosts ringing any bells?”  
  
Raphael, Leonie, Ignatz and Marianne busy themselves with grabbing and setting up their gear while the other three admire the house. “Ignatz is right, as usual.” Lorenz admits as he leans against the van door. Their car is old - Hilda’s brother had given it to them once he’d skipped town for good, ominous carpet stains and absolutely reeking of weed. They’ve since gutted the interior and made the thing look semi presentable, with the smell of weed being more of a light whiff than an overpowering stench. (“Claude, you and Hilda CANNOT smoke in the work vehicle! We have to seem presentable!” “ok,ok got it. Only edibles in the van from now on”) “That mansion is beautiful.”  
  
Claude nods distractedly. He knows it’s beautiful. He’s been eyeing it since his first year in college and there’s no way he’s doing this summer’s ghost hunting without at least giving the place a look see. It’s the local spooky place that’s been abandoned since whoever lived it twenty years ago, with rumors abound. It’s old as balls, and no one knows a thing about it. He’s dug around briefly online, in the city’s historical society, town records. It’s like the house just dropped onto the map. The perfect spooky mystery for them to solve.  
  
He’s known the seven of them - Hilda, Lorenz, Leonie, Raphael, Ignatz and Lysithea, since high school and by some miracle, at the summer at the end of senior year he’d talked them all into joining him on an exploration of an abandoned hospital a few counties over, filmed it and posted on youtube. It’s how “Golden Deer Investigates” was born - it’s a combination of paranormal history and discussion and actual ghost/paranormal hunting. He’s in about every episode they’ve made with Hilda, Leonie and Raphael making appearances when they have time. (Ignatz, Lorenz & Lysithea have yet to appear in a video - Ignatz because he’s not comfortable on camera and Lorenz & Lysithea because they absolutely _ refuses. _ They’ve made appearances on the socials though thanks to Hilda’s quick snaps though.)  
  
They’ve gone all over Alliance territory at this point and gained a moderate internet following that pays enough to keep the whole endeavor running, despite it being their summer project when the rest of the crew is in town. He’ll be the first to admit he’s a bit proud of the operation they’ve cobbled together but he knows it’s not going to last forever.  
  
He’s 22 now - fresh out of school with a pre-law degree, taking a gap year before he guesses he’ll drags himself to law school. Marianne and Ignatz graduated with him with an animal science and pre-med degree respectively - and their both off to grad school in the Empire at the end of the summer. Lorenz is already in law school, but interning at his father’s law firm for the summer. Hilda’s craft business is booming, and Raphael has been in construction since he finished trade school a year or two back and Leonie was still teaching boxing and self defense around town. Lysithea was tapped straight out of high school for the biggest tech country in the Alliance and now spends her days cursing in front of a computer from her home office.  
  
Four years is a good enough run, he reasons. The whole thing was mainly an outlet for his own hyperfixation on the supernatural that he dragged the rest of them along into. Sure, Hilda enjoys running their social media, Ignatz likes creating merch and Lysithea runs their website like a well oiled machine in her spare time, but he’s sure the others would have left long ago if it wasn’t a) an excuse to hang out and b) bringing in enough dough to be worth it. And what better to end it than on their local hometown mystery.  
  
Of course, he still has to discuss ending the show with the rest of the group. But, Claude supposes, all good things must come to an end.  
  
“We’re all ready your highnesses!” Leonie calls to them in a mocking tone “Let’s get this show on the road.” Hilda’s the first to move, grabbing one of the two duffle bags. Lorenz follows after, digging out a flashlight and a sound recorder from the van.  
  
“Remember, guys. Just reconnaissance tonight.” Claude flips the camcorder open and turns on his headlamp. “See if we can find any entrances or look inside any windows.”  
  
The house certainly looks abandoned - there’s a section fence broken enough for them to squeeze through with what gear they have. The front of the house is still a stunner- ornate oak doors that barely look a day over ten years, intricate molding still left around each of the windows. The siding looks like its coming off in chunks, the chimney has fallen off the roof at some point and landed to the side of the house, but it's strangely mostly intact. 

Most of the windows in the front look boarded up on the first floor, though the second floor windows look pretty pristine - there’s even some yellowed curtains hanging from the large windowed door that leads out to the rotting veranda above the front door. If there’s no windows open on the first floor, maybe they could get a ladder and jimmy open something there.  
  
They’re smack dab in front entrance when Raphael speaks up, their camera slung onto his shoulder. “Hey, did you guys see that?”  
  
Marianne looks at him and then at where he’s looking. “See what?”  
  
“Swear I just saw somethin’ on the second floor move. Looked like a lady.”   
  
Claude’s looking up now too. The curtains look like they’re moving slightly, which while _ creepy _ doesn’t automatically mean ghost activity.  
  
Hilda sighs dramatically “I don’t see anything, Raph. Stop trying to psych us out”  
  
“No fooling! I swear by my dinner!”  
  
The two of them start to bicker loudly enough that he doesn’t hear the padding of footsteps behind the door until it’s too late “Hold on there’s something coming from-”  
  
“Can I help you?”   
  
The seven of them stop dead in their tracks staring into the light shining from the now swung open front door.  
  
_ shit shit shit. _ Claude’s mind flashes through several (all bad) excuses before he settles on an (admittedly also bad) one. “The city gave us permission film out here!” Claude yelps  
  
Lorenz whispers under his breath “There is no way they are going to believe-”  
  
“We’ve got the paperwork in our car!” Hilda chirps, “Right Marianne?” Marianne, looking halfway between bolting and fainting, nods shakily.  
  
“I don’t remember Claude mentioning anything about paperwork” Leonie mumbles. Hilda quickly jabs her elbow into Leonie’s side eliciting a minor ‘ow’ from the other girl.  
  
The light stays shining in their face before dropping to the floor and the door swung fully open. As his eyes adjusted, he can make out what the stranger looks like - they’re maybe about Leonie’s height and build, their teal hair tied in a loose ponytail, black rimmed glasses sliding down their face, with dark leggings and ginormous olive green shirt with the text “THE RODFATHER” printed in white letters and what looks like a fish dangling from a fishing rod.  
  
“The city, huh?”  
  
The sigh of relief Claude lets out feels historic. He’s told a lot of lies in his time but _ none _ of them have been as bad as that one just was. “Yes. Yes! It’s government property? Usually you… would do that.”  
  
The stranger tilts their head to the side, looking at the seven them quizzically. “The paperwork must not have gone through. I own this house as of a week ago.”  
  
“I’m sorry” Hilda says “Were you just. Sitting in the dark? How were we supposed to know anyone was _ living _ here?”  
  
The strangers reply is nonplussed “Wiring’s out in the front of the house.”  
  
“The windows are still boarded up? There’s no car out front? You seem like a squatter than an actual tenant to me.”  
  
The stranger leans against the door. “I can call my lawyer”  
  
Lorenz shoots that down quickly. “No need! We’re just… this house has been empty for years you understand.” Claude sees the strangers fairly blank expressions soften at that.  
  
“Yes. It has been.”  
  
“Do you…” Ignatz gulps, recovering from his previous gobsmacked expression “Mind if we come in?”  
  
He presses on when the stranger continues to stare at him unimpressed. “I-i-i-i- I mean. This house is a local legend. And it’s beautiful. I don’t know if you um. Plan on doing any work in it but it’d be. A shame if no one else saw it. Plus um. Think of it as getting to know your neighbors. We’re all from around here, you know.”  
  
Lorenz and Hilda look like their about to strangle Ignatz, but Claude can’t help but look relatively impressed. Ignatz has too earnest of face to mistrust - he’d give him a thumbs up it wasn’t too obvious.  
  
The stranger pauses again. Are they studying them? Lost it thought? He’s got a weird feeling, like there’s something that the stranger knows that he doesn’t and it fills him with unease.  
  
After a brief stare off, they shrug, and open the door wider. “Don’t go upstairs. The stairs are rotted.” When they turn to walk back in, it’s Lorenz, Hilda and Ignatz turn to let out a sigh of relief as Claude does an undignified fist pump.  
  
“You’re a genius Ignatz! I could kiss you.”  
  
“Please don’t” Ignatz says, looking exhausted. Claude ignores it  
  
“Alright team, slight change of plans but we can work with this. Raphael, Hilda, lets get some photos from the interior. Be charming and friendly and we can still make it all happen.”  
  
“Do you not remember they mentioned _ owning the house?” _ Leonie stage whispers as they make their way up the porch. “There’s no way they’re going to let us investigate their _ newly bought house _ for _ ghosts. _ No normal person would agree to that. _ ” _  
  
“When has anyone ever said no to my charm, Leonie? Hmm?”  
  
“Me” Lorenz mumbles tiredly “Every day since I’ve had the misfortune to know you.”  
  
The crew steps through the entry, Marianne closing the door behind her gently. Even in the dark, the foyer looks grand - there’s a chandelier covered in cobwebs that’s gleaming from the light shining down the hall, a large staircase with iron rod rail and spindles leads up into the pitch black second floor.  
  
They follow the light in the back of the house and are greeted with… what looks like a dated kitchen with semi-new appliances and the pinnacle of a bachelor pad in which what he guesses was a dining room at some point. It’s complete with the mattress on the floor and a desktop computer set up on a fairly sparse desk, though there is a table with four chairs set up to one side, a stack of paperwork spread out.  
  
“Oh dear goddess” He hears Lorenz breath. “Maybe they are a squatter.”  
  
Hilda’s quick to mumble back. “What kind of squatter sets up a desktop computer in an abandoned house? Plus it looks like they have electricity and plumbing set up... ”  
  
The stranger gestures around. “Feel free to look around the first floor. I’ll be up for…” They stare at the clock sitting at their desk. “An hour or so more trying to get paperwork done.”  
  
“You’re just gonna give us a run of the place?” Raphael, like usual is way too loud for the situation at hand.  
  
The stranger shrugs. “Sure.”  
  
“Shouldn’t we um…” Marianne shuffles her feet back and forth. “Introduce ourselves first?”  
  
Claude nearly facepalms at his own stupidity. Yeah of course they should Marianne. Why hadn’t he been the one to bring it up.  
  
“Right yeah” Thankfully Hilda takes command, introducing the group one by one. The strangers eyes go from person to person til they settle on Claude as he’s the last one introduced.  
  
“Byleth. Byleth Eisner.” His name gets stuck on their last name. Eisner…..Eisner…. why did that sound familiar?  
  
Hilda makes a face “What kind of name is Byle-”  
  
Leonie interrupts before Hilda can go full insult. “Eisner…. Wait.” It clicks with Claude when she says it like that. “Are you related to Jeralt?”  
  
Jeralt had been the head fire chief for the area, some twenty odd years ago before retiring to the private sector and moving out of town. Though he still participated in community events from time to time - teaching self defense and other seminars. He’d only ever met them in passing but the man had left quite an impression on Leonie after taking a few of his seminars anyways. She’s working at a boxing gym now, but she‘d just gotten her EMT license and was up for taking the fire fighting exams in the fall.

Unfortunately though, Jeralt had died some five or so years ago. A mugging gone wrong they’d said - always sounded suspicious to him. The guy was built like a bunker. But they’d had lysithea dig up what she could at Leonie’s request and there wasn’t much to dig up on that front. The cops had the case file locked up tight, and there was little to no press about the event in general. And since it happened outside of Alliance territory, there were just about zero strings he could pull to find out more. Still, a mugger took out the legendary amateur boxing champion Jeralt Eisner? It just didn’t make any sense. 

Byleth eyes turn to Leonie, their expression blank “He was my father.”  
  
While Leonie gapes, Claude starts putting the pieces together in his head. Twenty years, Jeralt’s kid….  
  
“Wait was this… Was this Jeralt’s house?”  
  
“It’s the family house, yes.”  
  
_ Then why did he leave it to sit for twenty years? Why does it have this great ominous energy? Why doesn’t Leonie recognize you when she went to your father’s funeral? _He can feel himself vibrating with curiosity. He gives Hilda a look and like the superstar she is, she already knows what’s up.

“Alright guys, let's take a look!” Her voice has that fake chipper tone to it, and she’s pushing a still shocked Leonie and Lorenz deeper into the house. Marianne, Raphael and Ignatz head back the way they came. Which left Claude, the de facto head of this paranormal operation, to try and charm the hell out of Byleth.

Byleth for their part, seems uninterested. They’re already sitting back down in front of their giant stack of paperwork and drinking what looks like black tea from a large swordfish shaped novelty mug. 

He takes the seat next to them - Byleth doesn’t look up, scritching away at whatever they're working on. “So,” He gives them what he feels like is his most charming smile. “What brings you back to town?” 

“I just felt like moving back” Turns out its borderline incredible how succinct of answers Byleth bats out at every single question Claude has.

(“Why’d we never see you around if you were Jeralt’s kid?” “I didn’t go out much” “How old are you” “Old enough.” “what are you working on?” “tax documents” “what’s with all the fishing themed stuff?” He’d gotten just a crack of a smile at that and nope, he’s not going to admit how triumphant he feels when it happens “maybe I like fish” )

“Do you know anything about this house then?” Byleth stops writing at that. It’s almost like they’re… listening to something? It’s bizarre.

“Not much.” They reply finally, sitting back in their chair to make eye contact with him. “ But my uncle might know. He’ll be in town with his daughter within the next couple days.” 

He makes a note to check that out but Byleth gets up before he’s able to continue, making their way to the foyer “Don’t go up the stairs.” Claude follows behind to see Raphael half-way up said stairs with Marianne and Ignatz on the ground floor looking moderately panicked.  
  
“I know you said it’s rotted, but it doesn’t seem too bad to me” Raphael bounces on the stair he’s standing on. As if on cue, two of the metal spindles pry away from the railing and crash down to the first floor. The four friends stand their gaping, though Byleth somehow looks more amused than upset. That’s weird right? “Okay, yeah. No climbing the stairs”  
  
Marianne speaks up before Claude can try and drag out anymore information from Byleth. “I think we’ve caused enough trouble tonight... ”  
  
“I must agree.” Lorenz, Hilda and Leonie appear from behind them. Hilda’s got the look like they found some exciting shit back there, while Leonie looks lost in thought. “Thank you so much for letting us look around, but we really. Must be going.” Claude’s about to say something but the look both Lorenz and Hilda give him cow him just enough to. But not enough to say what he says next.  
  
“Hey, want to exchange numbers?” Byleth stares back at him quizzically before he goes on. “You know in case we… want to film more” He can almost hear Lorenz rolling his eyes behind him.  
  
Thankfully Byleth just shrugs, pulling out what looks like a _ blackberry phone _. Is this person real? There’s no way this person is real. “Sure.” 

The rest of the crew is out the door by the time they’ve finished. “Hope you see you around. And uh. Welcome to the neighborhood?” Claude holds out his hand for a handshake. The way Byleth stare at his proffered hand makes him momentarily uncomfortable, but after a beat, they do return the favor and shake his hand.  
  
He catches it then, the moment their hand touches his - hazy, and floating at the bottom of the stairs, a girl with long green hair, in pre-war dress, staring straight at him. Before he can process anymore than that, he blinks, Byleth let’s go of his hand and the girl is gone.  
  
\--  
  
“Okay so you were right Claude.” Hilda says to him as he climbs back into his seat in the van and slams the door shut. “That house is _totally _worth investigating. You should have SEEN what was in those back rooms. Creeeeepy.”  
  
“A library, A study, a music room, a billiards room, sitting room… plus I could see a fairly expansive backyard with a greenhouse” Lorenz notes, flipping through the photos he’d taken. “It must have cost a fortune to build and maintain.”  
  
Leonie’s response is a bit more subdued. “Jeralt didn’t talk much about his personal life, but I remember him saying he was a widower. Either his family was loaded or he married into money.”  
  
“Don’t you think it’s weird he never brought up a kid?” Ignatz chimes in from the back.  
  
“I dunno.” They’ve turned back onto the main road now, though they’re still far enough out in the country that there’s no cars around for what appears to be miles. “Maybe. But Jeralt was kind of weird like that.” The expression on Leonie’s face darkens further.  
  
“You know, I thought I hadn’t seen Byleth at his funeral services, but thinking back… I remember after the service was over, seeing someone with teal hair standing over the grave. Thought it was weird then but now… It must have been hard losing both parents.”  
  
Marianne and Raphael nod - both had lost their parents before the group had met. Raphael and his sister live with their grandparents now and Marianne with a friend of the family. If anyone could relate, it’d be the two of them.  
  
“Claude, you’re usually not this quiet. What gives?”  
  
He smiles back at Hilda, who’s staring at him with a raised eyebrow “Sorry. Lost in thought.” A lot of questions swirl around in his head - his fingers itch to go home and dig through website upon website of historical records and geneology websites. He’d seen his fair share of “paranormal activity” - of course nothing has been concrete. It usually manifested itself in things that could be easily explained away. Ominous sounds, objects seeming to move on their own, white balls of light. But either he’d imagined that girl, (which considering he’s running on three cups of coffee and three hours of sleep at this point is completely possible), or he just encountered his first fully corporeal ghost. And if he can get proof of that then well. That’ll bust the paranormal community wide open.  
  
It’s not like there’s a bunch of other weird mysteries surrounding the house. Why had someone come back to claim that old mansion now? What had made them abandon it in the first place? What did the local celebrity Jeralt have to do with it? And what the hell was up with his kid? Question upon question upon question - and he can’t wait to get started.  
  
Hilda drums her nails against the dashboard. “So? What do you think? Is it worth working our way into Byleth’s good graces?”  
  
The smile he gives her now is genuine. “Yeah. I think this could be a lot of fun.”


	2. The Gang Convinces? Byleth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Finally!” Lysithea sits up and watches him pad over to the fridge. She’s lucky he put on sweatpants and t shirt before he left his room. “I was wondering if you were going to sleep the entire day away.” 
> 
> “Begone yee gremlin.” He mumbles, searching the fridge for something edible. He settles on a package of Nader’s weird organic yogurt and canned coffee. “Don’t you have some other children to terrorize?” 
> 
> \--
> 
> Claude does some more research and Byleth plays.... hard to get?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe i conned my friends into being invested in this bad AU and making [art](https://twitter.com/cieratroyart/status/1180336093503377408) of Byleth's terrible outfit. Please [follow my friend](https://twitter.com/cieratroyart) lmao. 

Claude drags himself out of bed at the crack of 2PM the next day to find Lysithea laid out on his living room couch, mumbling to herself and clanking away her laptop. Usually he doesn’t mind it when some of the crew appears at his house, but considering he’d only fallen asleep a measly 6 hours ago, he’s not in the mood to be pleasant.    
  
It’s a dead end, everything is  _ still  _ a dead end. Now that he’s actually been inside the place, the fact that the house has absolutely  _ no  _ internet presence to speak of is even more alarming. How the hell is that possible? It’s a large mansion semi-near a fairly populated town. He’d have guessed there’d be tons of urban explorers scoping the place out - but there’s nothing at all to speak of. Judging from the photos Hilda and Lorenz had gathered the house looks like it’s in  _ remarkable  _ shape. The library looks like a mess of books, but the wallpaper and finishes aren’t damaged in the slightest, there’s original furniture that looks like it hasn’t been touched in decades. A little polish and this house could be a museum. But how is that possible? Any criminal with two brain cells to rub together should have looted that place AGES ago.    
  
Not only that, but Byleth Eisner has no internet presence at all. No social media to speak of, and the most he gets otherwise is from articles and obituaries mentioning Jeralt’s death. “He is survived by one child.” The person he’d met yesterday, reduced down to a sentence. It doesn’t mean shit.    
  
The most he’s able to get is from Jeralt himself - it looks like after he’d retired from public work he’d went to do some hush hush job in Garreg Mach, the independent country smack dab between the Empire, Kingdom and Alliance. A lot of financial firms and tech companies have offices there due to their fairly neutral relationship with the different territories (minus that one scuffle with the empire a couple decades ago), but he can’t find any digital trail on what company that could be. Or who the hell his alleged wife was. There is record of his wife died around the same time the house was abandoned, which okay, that’s an easy puzzle piece to put together, but that’s IT. He’s pretty sure he screamed into his pillow for a good fifteen minutes when he’d gotten to that point. 

“Finally!” Lysithea sits up and watches him pad over to the fridge. She’s lucky he put on sweatpants and t shirt before he left his room. “I was wondering if you were going to sleep the entire  _ day  _ away.” 

“Begone yee gremlin.” He mumbles, searching the fridge for something edible. He settles on a package of Nader’s weird organic yogurt and canned coffee. “Don’t you have some other children to terrorize?” 

Lysithea in turn just sticks her tongue out. “I know you’re just trying to get a rise out of me, Claude. It’s not going to work when I’ve got the dirt from last night.”    
  
The can he’s holding opens with a slight hiss. “Please, can you wait til I’ve had. Some caffeine. At least half this can.” Lysithea raises her eyebrows but waits patiently as Claude does as he said and chugs it. He still feels like shit but at least he’ll be more awake while he proceeds to feel that way.    
  
“So Leonie filled me in on what happened last night.”   
  
Claude rests his head on the fridge. “Uh huh okay. Go ahead. Lay on the ‘I told you so’s’”    
  
Lysithea, bless her terrible shrunken heart, obliges. “I told you so”    
  
Yeah, he’s gonna need more caffeine to deal with this shit. He grabs another canned coffee before settling down on the other side of the couch with his fancy yogurt and spoon in one hand and the coffee in the other. “Anything constructive you’d like to add?”    
  
“Of course.” Lysithea replies primly. “For one thing, I think you and Hilda picked an absolutely terrible lie. What if they’d actually asked for your paperwork?. You’re lucky this ‘Byleth’ is an idiot, or you’d be back and square one with no recourse.”    
  
“Constructive means useful, Lysithea” he mumbles. He’s halfway through this yogurt and he can’t decide whether he wants to throw the whole thing out or just suffer and eat the whole thing. Why can’t Nader buy anything normal to eat?    
  
She does what she does best and ignores him, “SECONDLY, I was thinking about our research predicament, and I think I know why we can’t find anything about it online.”    
  
That gets his attention. He sits up straight and nods for her to continue.    
  
“The internet is not all knowing, you know. There are a fair amount of companies that offer their services removing unsavory news articles or private information. I’d imagine that could be done fairly easily. I’m not sure about the physical records, but it’s possible with the right amount of influence a lot of records that are supposed to be public could be hidden away.”    
  
Of COURSE. He keeps leaning until he’s flopped down completely onto the sofa. It’s not like his family’s hired the same kind of people to keep their own secrets, including his own. Why couldn’t someone else do the same?    
  
Still, there’s one part of the hypothesis he doesn’t agree with. “What, so you’re saying this Byleth Eisner could be some rich heir?”    
  
“It’s possible. That or they gave you an alias.”   
  
Claude shakes his head, scooping the last bit of yogurt into his mouth. “If they are, they’re the most eccentric rich person I’ve ever met, and I, sadly, know a lot of eccentric rich people. Including you.” (Lysithea rolls their eyes at that. Whatever, it’s true) “You should of seen their setup. I’m pretty sure Lorenz was a minute from going ‘damn bitch you live like this?’”    
  
Lysithea snorts “But it sounds like the rest of my hypothesis is worth entertaining.”    
  
“Seems so” He pulls his phone from his pocket.There’s a couple messages in the group chat planning their next get together tomorrow after Leonie gets off work, a couple memes from Hilda, a notification or five from the socials he ignores. There’s one message that does catch his eye though.    
  
**Byleth**   
paranormal investigators, huh?

My favorite video was the one about the underwater catacombs in Deirdriu    
  
He drops the spoon he’d been toying with right between the couch cushion cracks. It’s not like it hadn’t occurred to him that they’d find out.They’d given them their real names after all - it wouldn’t take too much online searching to find their stuff. He’d hoped to run interference for a bit, have the team worm their way into their heart. Maybe they’d watch some of their most popular stuff and get intrigued. But no. Apparently they’d just gone through and watched enough of their videos to decide their favorite one was from literally FOUR YEARS AGO. 

That’s not even a popular episode! there are a good 50 or so videos posted, and they chose the one where he can swear his voice cracks ten minutes in when he says the word “waterways.” I mean, okay,  _ he  _ likes it. He gets to go full history nerd and it was the first episode where he really got to go into some of the societal factors behind the rise of popular paranormal tales. It’s not the most…. Flashy of subjects, but it’s fascinating stuff, okay?    
  
“Oh no”    
  
“Oh no?”    
  
“They know.” His laugh comes out a bit strangled “And it sounds like they just went and watched all our videos.”    
  
She’s able to put the pieces together pretty easily at that. “Looks like you’d better be more charming than you were last night. And all our videos? That has to be an exaggeration.”   
  
Claude doesn’t respond, just pulls up the group chat and screams silently.    
  
**Deerly Beloved Ghouls**   
  
**Clau-deez nuts**   
guys we’re fucked   
  
**The Red Turtle**   
?????   
  
**Hi-hi hilda  
** wym we havent even done anything 

**Clau-deez nuts**   
byleth just texted me about our show like. an hour ago.    
i think they’ve watched like all our vids

**Lorenz Hellman Gloucester  
** What’s there to be shocked about? It’s almost as if we gave them our real names. The names that we use on our channel and in our social media.    
Though I hope you’re wrong about them watching our entire channel. I do wish you’d let me delete at least the first five.

**Clau-deez nuts  
** that’s because theyre charming in how bad they are lorenz   
sorry u dont have TASTE  
  
**Hi-hi hilda  
** lorenz has a point for once  
and  _ all  _ of them? no one’s seen all our videos. i don’t think i’ve seen all of them.  
  
**Clau-deez nuts  
** weird flex but ok

**Snow White  
**Do they sound mad?  
  
**Clau-deez nuts  
**they liked the episode about the submerged catacombs in deirdriu 

**Hi-hi hilda  
** THAT snoozefest?    
no wonder u asked for their number. uve found ur soulmate at last

**Clau-deez nuts  
** ITS GOOD CONTENT UR JUST MEAN

**Victor, Ignatz**   
I agree, I like that episode a lot too.   
  
**Clau-deez nuts  
** thanks man uve always been my favorite   
  
**Lorenz Hellman Gloucester  
** While stroking Claude’s ego is my most cherished past time I have better things to do.   
Have you responded yet?    
  
**Clau-deez nuts  
** thats not the only thing you could stroke if you want baby  
and no i haven;t   
  
**Lorenz Hellman Gloucester  
** CLAUDE VON RIEGAN WE HAVE TALKED ABOUT THIS

**Sith lord Ly  
** You’re all Blocked. None of you Are Free of Sin.    
  
**bad grrl Leonie**   
What the hell are you guys making me read at work. 

  
He patently ignores the glare Lysithea is giving him from the other side of the couch as he switches from the group chat to Byleth’s messages. Claude’s honestly surprised they hadn’t just called him - that seems like the real old people way of resolving things. And if Byleth owns a phone with a  _ physical fucking keyboard  _ he can’t imagine they’re hip with the times. 

**Claude**  
busted  
did you watch all of them  
  
**Byleth**   
Not all of them.  
I did think it was a nature show for around an hour.  
  
**Claude**  
a whole hour? 

**Byleth**   
You did spend 45 minutes of a video wandering around the woods making bird noises.   
  
Oh yeah, the Ordelia Devil episode. It’s one of their most popular. Lysithea, of course, hates it. She hates thinking of her home town as the originator for one of the most famous cryptids in all of Fodlan, stalking the woods and waiting to eat unsuspecting campers. 

(Let’s just say there’s a reason Lysithea doesn’t go on their camping trips anymore without doing at least 48 hours of research minimum.)   
  
**Claude **   
thats fair

Byleth doesn’t message anything back for a good fifteen minutes. Claude scrolls through social media, aimlessly liking things until he gives in and dials them. Fuck this, he thinks, may as well just shoot his shot now than stew in uncertainty. Thankfully, Lysithea isn’t paying full attention to him anymore - he can tell by her muttered cursing that someone at work is asking her what Hilda calls “The Real Dumb Questions ™”  
  
They pick up after the third ring “...Claude.”    
  
“So! Let’s uh. Let’s start this over, shall we?”   
  
There’s a pause on the other line, before he hears a quiet “Sure.”   
  
Alright, okay, time to lay it on  _ thick.  _ “I’m Claude von Riegan, head of Golden deer Investigates. I was wondering if you would… let investigate your house.” He can see Lysithea rolling her eyes as she types away. Whatever, she can try being the gregarious outgoing one for once.

Another pause. No wonder they just texted him - This must be akin to torture in some countries “Why?”    
  
“Because?” he flips through his litany of reasons. Money, marketing, fame - he can tell already the usual spiel for the smaller haunts probably won’t work this time around. It’s a private home AND Byleth doesn’t seem the type to care much for that kind of pomp and circumstance. So he goes for a touch of honesty “Aren’t you curious? You said you don’t know much about your own family home. Doesn’t that… bother you?” 

The other line goes silent for a full twenty seconds. He checks to see if they’ve hung up, but from what he can tell, they’re still on the line.    
  
“.... hello?”    
  
“Sorry.” Byleth’s voice cuts through. “I have to go.”    
  
“Wait, hold on, let me -“ and then all he’s left with is the dial tone. 

Well, so much for that. Throwing his phone onto the couch he leans back and thinks. It’s not a total loss. He’ll just…. Text them? Show up at their house anyways? That last one is a bit creepy, but his mind is spinning for answers. There’s never been a mystery he didn’t want to get his hands all over - this one’s no different. Except right now it feels like everytime he clicks one puzzle into place, someone else takes away 5 pieces.

“I’m going to go drown myself in the shower. Tell everyone they can’t have my stuff”

“Only if I get dibs on all your books.” Lysithea calls, not looking up from their computer. He flips her off as he heads back to his room, and she’s happy to return the favor with two of her own flipped birds.

—   


If pouting moodily while drinking a milkshake and watching your best friend and her girlfriend flirt over dinner is an art, Claude von Riegan better be put in a museum. It’s a good few hours after that disastrous phone call, and he’s sitting opposite Hilda and Marianne who are taking adorable selfies at Hilda’s insistence. The diner is one of their local haunts mainly because they’ve been going here for forever and they know to start stacking burgers the moment Raphael walks through the door. Their booth is by the window, so at least Claude can people watch, considering what terrible company he’s with.

“Come out with me, Claude.” he parrots back in a falsetto. He thinks the right to be a bit of a drama queen here. “What’ll make you feel better than hanging out with your bff?”   
  
“Well I asked if _you_ wanted to be in any of our pics but your too busy crying into your mint chocolate milkshake” Hilda wrinkles her nose, though Marianne lets out a small ‘sorry’.   
  
He does crack a smile at that. “You’re fine, Marianne. I’m trying to guilt Hilda.”   
  
Lysithea’s scarfing down a banana split next to him looking pleased as punch. What he wouldn’t give to be as easily moved to happiness as she is. “Well neither of you should feel guilty. It’s Claude’s own fault.”   
  
Claude sniffs with fake indiginanty “You’re all bad friends”  
  
Hilda gives him a mildly sympathetic look from the top of her sunglasses. The sun’s just starting to set in the distance, but its still bright enough that he won’t make fun of her for wearing them inside yet. “Seriously though. When’s a little rejection ever stopped you? I’m sure once you got done with your little pity party you went right back to sleuthing.”  
  
“As a matter of fact…” He fills them in on what he was able to dig up with Lysithea’s help. They dug more into the Jeralt route since it was their only lead. It was an article some thirty years back - Jeralt had won some sort of award, and they’d gone into his past a bit. Seems like he grew up outside the area, meaning that the house was probably his wives. There was also another name that kept coming up the farther he dug back with Jeralt. “Rhea.”   
  
And then THAT turned into another dead end. The same as Byleth, there was just nothing out there about who she was and what she meant to Jeralt. The articles would mention her briefly - “ Mr Eisner attended the event with Rhea Ceros.”, “Mr Eisner and Ms Ceros have worked together for years.” Worked on what? How did they even know each other? If she was missing from the records, it made him think she was somehow connected to this to.   
  
Maybe Byleth’s mom? It doesn’t sound right though. Most of the articles describe them almost as old coworkers or something.  
  
“I pinged Leonie about it, but she said it doesn’t ring any bell. She says she can ask some of Jeralt’s old contacts that she’s still talks to.” Claude plays with his straw, his brow furrowing. “It’s just… weird. There must be people still around who remember her. Why go out of their way to hide it?”   
  
Lysithea shrugs “Maybe it’s a front for the mob or something.”  
  
“Or maybe she’s just a girl who likes her privacy.” Hilda rolls her eyes. “All I’m saying is you might be thinking a bit too hard about this.”   
  
“Occam’s razor” Claude says distractedly as Lysithea grunts in affirmation. It’s true, all of it could be a coincidence. The mansions off the beaten path, maybe that’s why there were no looters. Byleth and their family could just be private people. Maybe what he’d seen yesterday was just a trick of the light. But there’s something there - there has to be. There’s a string of coincidences and then there’s a _pattern_.   
  
Hilda’s about to say more when she notices Marianne deep in thought as well “Something on your mind?”   
  
A look of surprise washes over her face briefly, “Oh! Well…. I was just thinking.” Hilda nods, urging her on. “There were a pack of ravens watching us, weren’t there? When we went out earlier. Before…. Last night. ”   
  
“Mm!” Hilda bangs her drink on the table, eliciting a couple glares from the other booths. Claude waves a hand in apology, but really he’s almost set this place on fire and the owner hasn’t even blinked.   
  
(It was mainly Raphael and Ignatz’s fault but you know, he’ll fall on that sword in order to keep their good name just this once.)   
  
“That’s right! Talk about creepy.” She shivers dramatically. “I get the whole sentimental value and all, but it’s hard to believe someone would move into that creepy old house on their own.It just screams ‘horror movie set’ to me.” 

Marianne still looks pensive though. “I don’t know… they almost seemed like… they were greeting an old friend.”    
  
“Yeah okay.” Lysithea mutters as she slurps some of the melted ice cream from the bottom of the bowl “Definitely less creepy.”    
  
The conversation devolves into the other items that Hilda, Lorenz and Leonie found. Lysithea’s nodding enthusiastically, with Marianne chiming in every once in awhile and Claude starts to tune the conversation out. He spent a good two hours last night scouring those photos after Lorenz walked them through it - and while he’s got a lot of questions (about four pages of them typed up on his laptop) it seems immaterial if they can’t get back into that house. He’s still turning over the conversation he had with Byleth earlier. If they’d been upset, they wouldn’t have reached out first, right?  
  
He’s so deep in thought he almost misses them - they’re with someone taller with short sandy brown hair, paused on the sidewalk and looking through a window across the street. Fate’s not real he thinks headily, but there they are huh? Claude stands up without even thinking, nearly knocking over their drinks on the table.   
  
“What are you doing?” Lysithea hisses but he’s too busy watching to even give her a sarcastic response. They’re already starting to turn the street corner and there’s no way he’s going to miss this chance. He  _ has  _ to know.    
  
The vault he does over the booth seat would have made his high school gym teacher proud. “I’ll pay you back later!” He yells over his shoulder at an open mouthed Hilda and Marianne. Lysithea looks too mad to be surprised.    
  
“Claude!” Hilda calls after him “What the hell are you-” The door’s already slammed closed behind him. Byleth and whoever they were with are already out of sight, but he’s already sprinting down the direction. They’re three blocks, ahead two blocks ahead before he calls out.    
  
“Byleth!” Someone or something must give him a break, because the duo stop and turn in his direction. By the time he’s them though he’s gasping for air - Apparently Leonie was right to say he should do more cardio because he’s pretty sure this is what death feels like. 

“...Claude” there’s a tinge of surprise in Byleth’s voice - He’s not sure if from seeing him in general or from his relatively messed up appearance after having chased them at full speed a couple blocks. Or maybe something different entirely. Right now though, he’s focused on both breathing in and out and the fact that Byleth seems to be wearing  _ mismatched socks with sandals.  _

“A friend of yours, By?” Claude’s recovered enough to look up, and he recognizes the man the same time he does. “Ah wait, I know who you are. Claude is it? Leonie’s friend?” 

“Alois!” He’d never been so relieved to see the man in his life. He’s one of the firefighters Leonie had met through Jeralt - he’s run into him when hanging out with the group a couple times and he seems… nice enough. (If a bit gullible, considering during one of their run ins he had talked him into opening the old library in town for one of their investigations. Leonie hadn’t spoken to him and Hilda for a week. ) “Fancy seeing you here.” 

“It is! I was just showing Byleth around town. They just moved here you know - On the old house out on Monastery Road!” 

The laugh he gives sounds so fake he’s surprised Alois buys it. “Yeah? No kidding?” Byleth’s eyebrows raise slightly at that, but they thankfully don’t say a single thing. Now that Claude’s brain is back to working at semi functioning pace he’s able to process the fact that Alois and Byleth seem to be wearing matching black hawaiian shirts. It takes all his willpower not to point it out. 

“Used to be a lovely place before Jeralt left.” Alois muses to himself. It occurs to him then that Alois probably knew Jeralt and consequently Byleth pretty well - he files that to use for later once he convinces them to let the rest of the group back into their house. 

“I ah.” He takes the opening before it slips away. “I actually wanted to ask Byleth something.”    
  
Byleth tilts their head to the side, shoving their hands into the pockets of their loose overalls (and okay now that he’s processed the whole look he half wishes he could take a photo to show to Hilda to watch her scream in frustration.) as if considering him before replying. “I see.”    
  
He’s not sure what he was expecting them to say, but it certainly wasn’t that. “You see?” He repeats dumbly. 

Their eyes flicker over to where Alois is standing off to the side. “Alois called.” They say as an explanation. It is, somewhat - he can imagine he would take precedent over a practical stranger. Faintly he wonders how they’re conversation would have concluded if he hadn’t. 

“Oh.”    
  
Byleth just stares back and he’s sure even Alois can feel this turning into an awkward silence. “Alois. You mentioned something about ice cream?”   
  
He grins back. “Yes! I’ve got the “inside scoop” on a new place, if you will” Right, the other facet of Alois, the terrible puns. Claude holds in a groan as Alois looks at the two of them with a look that begs for validation.    
  
Byleth does let a small smile on their lips “You said it was rolled ice cream”    
  
“I mean well. That is...”   
  
“Let’s go then” Before Claude can say anything else, they throw him a “I’ll message you.” They make a show of pulling out their phone (He still cannot believe that brick counts as a functioning device) and waving it before leading Alois away.    
  
(‘Ice cream can wait. Talk to your friends!’ ‘Don’t worry Alois’ Their response is dry, but clearly fond ‘Unfortunately, I’m sure I’ll be seeing much more of them soon.’)   
  
The rest of the crew has caught up to him by the time he gets his first message from Byleth. “You owe me like 7 more gold on top of the other 25 from when we out two weeks ago.” Hilda grouses.    
  
He responds half-heartedly as he pulls up the message. “Considering you owe me at least a hundred from last summer, I think I’ll be fine.”    
  
**Byleth**   
You’re right. There are a lot of things I want to know.    
I’m not sure you can help, to be honest.   
But I’m willing to give you and your team a chance.   
  


**Claude**   
!!!!!!!!!   
u won’t regret it  
u can come to my house before our meeting tomorrow   
we’ll convince u ;)   
  
**Byleth **   
I should have my car by then.   
We’ll see.    
  
“What are you looking so smug about?”   
  
He shows the three of them the message chain. “Got ‘em.”    
  
Hilda offers him a high five which he takes, while Marianne gives them both a concerned look. “I hope you know what your doing, Claude.”    
  
Lysithea reaches up to pat her shoulder. “When has Claude ever known what he’s doing.”    
  
He frowns at that, but does not dignify that dig with a response. He’s already typing out the address and bouncing a million different ideas and plans through his head. Maybe he should relook at that list of questions he put together. He could have than answer a few more right? 6 pages of questions isn’t going overboard. Seven maybe but six? Sounds like a normal, healthy amount. “Looks like we have to be well put together adults tomorrow. Should we grab snacks? Adults have snacks at their meetings, right” Lysithea brightens at the idea at least.    
  
“We could go to the cake store. Everyone likes cake.”    
  
The teasing smile Hilda gives Lysithea is enough to make the younger girl blush. “Sure right.  _ Everyone  _ loves cake. ”    
  
“Especially mature adults” Claude waggles his eyebrows - it’s enough to get the rise of out Lysithea he was aiming for. It should be enough to distract them for now. He follows after the three of them, half participating in the conversation, and half compiling a set of plans for tomorrow. It’s gonna go so well. His contingencies will have contingencies. Byleth won’t know what hit them.    
  
(“By the way Hilda, I’m going to describe what they were wearing and see if it causes to burst into flames.” “Please Claude, how could it be worse than what they were wearing  _ yesterday” _ “Oh no, yesterday was just the preamble. It starts with socks and sandals-” “I’m gonna stop you there because I’m already too sober for this”) 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My three brain cells are arguing. One is demanding more ghosts. The other is demanding more romance. The last brain cell loves looking up the absolute worst outfits to put Byleth in and wrote whatever the hell you call this. 
> 
> I promise there's more ghosts and romance...... they're there..... in the future...... 
> 
> Follow me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/mandkips)


	3. The Gang Has a Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I mean.” They look pensive for a moment. “It just doesn’t seem. Interesting. To wander around yelling at ghosts”
> 
> “Oh?” Claude leans back onto the palms of his hands, his eyebrows raised. “And what would you do?”
> 
> Byleth replies easily. “I would just ask politely.” 
> 
> “Does that usually work?”
> 
> Byleth tilts their head “Mostly.” What the hell is that supposed to mean? 
> 
> \--
> 
> Claude agonizes over Excel, Byleth is as evasive as ever, and the Golden Deer have their first group meeting with the local shut-in

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, my friend coming through with some great [trash fashion Byleth](https://twitter.com/cieratroyart/status/1181955935775985665) from Ch. 2. Please enjoy. 

Claude’s usually pretty good at putting together their finance spreadsheet by the end of the month but well. He’s been pretty busy to say the least. He’d spent the first week and a half of the month in Deidriu with his parents, Judith and the rest of his extended family after he’d graduated and got to hear about ten different spiels about what he should do after graduating every day for about twelve days straight.. At least his parents had reacted to it better to his cagey-ness than Judith had which was. Something at least. That woman could give a demonic beast a run for its money with her legendary stink eye.

(He has things planned, sure. But there are a lot of moving pieces, calls to make, people to smooze and emails to write. And while he doesn’t feel bad about keeping Judtih in the dark, he does feel slightly bad for keeping his parents not up to speed. But he knows what they’d say if they knew and he just. He just… doesn’t want to deal with it right now.)   
  
Once he’d gotten back he’d spent a week recovering from said time with family ,mostly by vegging out at Hilda’s place, glued to the tv watching re-runs of NOVA or researching and compiling stuff for Golden Deer Investigates. (“Hey, Hilda, check this out.” “Is it morbid, gross or creepy?” “What if… I said it was all three.” She sighs, but scoots away from her computer to where Claude’s lounging “Just tell me before I change my mind.”) AND THEN this week had shot anything that didn’t have to do with that house on Monastery Road completely out the window.   
  
Thankfully (?), he’d gotten three separate texts from Ignatz, Lysithea and Lorenz, each increasingly less polite in reminder, so he’s up a good six hours after he fell asleep, digging through the company email and excel and muttering under his breath. 

There’s no question he hates it. In concept, he understands the need for spreadsheets but in practice it’s like whoever came up with the idea built his idea of a bad time. But it’s not really something he can entrust to the others. There’s enough of his secrets in here to cause some friction to say the least. Besides, sometimes you sacrifice things so you can run around with a camera and chase the supernatural with your friends.   
  
“Hey kiddo. Got one of your favorites.” Claude’s apparently been so engrossed enough in his own personal hell that he didn’t notice Nader come in, but he does glance to his right to see what appears to be a very large frappe.   
  
Claude takes large gulp. Fuck, it’s the good stuff too - from the small coffee shop from across town that charges 6 gold a pop with an extra shot of espresso. “You’ve always been my favorite.”   
  
Nader digs out his lunch from the fridge, his tone amused. “Uh huh. I’ll tell your mother you said that.” He takes a seat across from him at the dining table. Nader and Judith had been his guardians while he stayed here, away from his parents. _ Technically _ , this was Nader’s place for when he was in Fodlan, but since Claude had started attending high school here, its where he spent the most time out of school.   
  
“Heard about the grief they gave you in Deidriu.” Claude lets out a groan, but Nader’s quick to dissuade him. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to say anything. Just wanted to let you know I’m not getting involved.”   
  
He can’t help but give him a genuine smile at that. It really isn’t an exaggeration when he says Nader is his favorite. After his mother, of course. “How long are you here before you have to head out?”   
  
“A couple hours. Then it’s off to Faerghus for me.” He sighs, taking a large gulp of some sort of smoothie. “You’re meeting with your friends today right? About your… ghost show.”   
  
“Yep”   
  
“I should be out of your hair by then, so you won’t have to worry about me embarassing you.” Oh, Nader doesn’t have to be here to embarrass him, they both know that, but he nods anyways.   
  
“Are you gonna get me anything?” Claude calls as Nader makes his way back to his room   
  
“You’re too old for presents.”   
  
“Then stop calling me kiddo.” He’s satisfied by the laugh he hears from down the hallway before getting back to work.   
  
He spends another two hours alternating between screaming internally at his spreadsheet and distracting himself with research for other episodes - Nader wanders in and out of the main living space, alternating between packing and picking at his lunch and unfortunately not indulging in any of Claude’s distraction tactics. He looks about done when there’s a knock at the door.   
  
“Car shouldn’t be here for another 30 minutes…” Nader mumbles, but get up to answer the door anyways. Not any of Claude’s friends either - all of those bastards have a key after the incident two years ago that involved Raphael and Hilda accidentally breaking down the front door with a fire axe.   
  
It only occurs to him when he glances at the clock that he’d asked Byleth to show up exactly ten minutes from what time it was now. His socks slip a bit on the tile as he sprints down the corridor “Wait wait wait WAIT” But it’s too late, the doors open and he’s subjected his poor guest to Nader.   
  
He’s relatively tame now but Claude stands in the background, on edge. “...No, you have the right house. I’m Nader, Claude’s guardian.”   
  
Byleth’s in the doorway, bowing awkwardly. “Pleased to meet you. I’m…. Byleth Eisner.”   
  
Their outfit is…. Slightly less terrible than yesterday. The jean vest with the large nonbinary flag patch on the front is nice, sure. But the camo cargo capris just scream middle school student. Though considering that he’s wearing sweatpants and a thin baseball henley that’s got several holes at the seams so he’s got about zero high ground to criticize them on for once. 

“Byleth? Interesting name. I hope you know that-”   
  
And it’s time for Claude to shove him out of the way before he starts the embarrassing spiel he’s subjected all Claude’s friends to . “You’re here! Here early, huh?”   
  
Byleth shrugs. “May I come in?” Nader steps out of the way to let them take off their strappy sandals at the door.   
  
Nader takes the time Byleth is distracted to pull him aside “Not telling you want to do, kiddo.” His eyes. “But I’m not sure I’d wear the sweatpants with ‘juicy’ on the back when inviting someone I don’t know that well to my house.”   
  
Right, yeah, he thinks weakly. It’s his favorite. Hilda got it for him for christmas and they have matching pairs. Of course he’s wearing it right now. He’s frozen between playing it cool and making a mad dash back to his room and changing into…. Literally anything else.   
  
He chooses the playing it cool - what else screams supreme confidence than playing off the whole outfit he’s wearing as an everyday thing? . “Please. I know what I’m doing” he lies as he turns to look at Byleth. “I’ll show you to the living room.” Nader gives an amused look and he prays that Byleth doesn’t notice.   
  
Miracle upon miracles, they don’t say anything and he excuses himself to get his “research material”. When he comes back, with said material (his laptop), they seem to have made themselves comfortable on the couch - Claude sees their vest is draped next to them with the back just _ covered _ in patches pertaining to fish and fishing (how in the world are there that many fish bait brands????) . It’s only then he notices the black crop top underneath that reads “The only man for me is mothman”   
  
“Mothman?”   
  
Byleth looks momentarily confused before they realize what he’s referring to. “Ah” they look down at their shirt and then back up at him, their tone dry “I wanted to dress for the occasion.”   
  
He does a poor job hiding the glee in his voice.“So you _ do _believe in ghosts and the paranormal.” 

Byleth considers for a moment, before deflecting “Do you?”

Two can play at that game. “What do you think?” 

Byleth eyes him steadily before replying. It’s a bit unnerving. “I think you want to.” It hits the nail right on the head, but like he’s going to let them know that. 

“And I think you do.” He continues on before the conversation can flounder. “Should I give you our whole marketing spiel, or should I get down to business?”

They shrug, so he stays on the safe side and connects his computer to the TV. He gives them the elevator pitch, and Byleth nods along politely. Afterwards, he jumps straight to it.  
  
“So. You’ve watched our videos.”   
  
“I have. All of them, now.”   
  
Oh boy. “And?”   
  
The words that come out of their mouth are definitely not what he expects. “The actual ghost and paranormal hunting seems... boring.”   
  
“Really.”   
  
“I mean.” They look pensive for a moment. “It just doesn’t seem. Interesting. To wander around yelling at ghosts”   
  
“Oh?” Claude leans back onto the palms of his hands, his eyebrows raised. “And what would you do?”   
  
Byleth replies easily. “I would just ask politely.”   
  
“Does that usually work?”   
  
Byleth tilts their head “Mostly.” What the hell is that supposed to mean?   
  
“So you don’t like the ghost hunting stuff.” Claude backtracks. “And yet…”   
  
“The Derdriu episode.” They finish for him. “It was very earnest.”   
  
Alright, he’s going to just take that as a compliment. “Is that all?”   
  
They shake their head. “No.” He gestures for them to continue. If they weren’t so stone faced, he’d swear he sees a flicker of embarrassment.   
  
“A lot of discussion with the supernatural leaves out the real people related to those stories.” They lean back into the couch, bring their knees to their chest. “Ghost stories are interesting, but…” Byleth trails off again, like there’s a train of thought that disappeared momentarily. “... they are built on the backs of real… emotions.”   
  
He feels like he’s looking at a completely different person than who walked in several minutes ago. It’s some of the more thoughtful conjecture that he’s heard on the subject anyways. “Huh. Not the answer I was expecting”   
  
Byleth raises one eyebrow. “And what was that?”   
  
That, he can play off with a wink “That you thought I was adorable when I was a kid.” 

  
Nader takes this moment to reenter the room with the rest of his bags and just drop the absolute worst line possible. “You kids these days have a weird way of doing foreplay.”   
  
Maybe the supernatural is real after all because Claude is going to die on the spot and turn into a ghost himself. Byleth, mercifully, just gives Nader a blank stare. “I am _ begging _ you to leave.”   
  
“No need to grovel! I’m gone.” With a laugh he waves and is out the door. Byleth turns to look at him once they hear the door slam shut, their voice deadpan.   
  
“Nothing sexier than a ghost, I guess.”   
  
He’s sure Nader can hear his surprised cackle from the driveway.   
  
\--

  
He’s worked with a lot of people for this show at this point. Other ghost hunters, historians, park rangers. He’s had conversations with skeptics, firm believers, firm deniers - But what he finds the most surprising about Byleth is how frank they are. Sure, he gets the feelings they’re still keeping _ something _from him, but for the most part they seem almost…. Honest. 

The two of them fall into easy conversation. well, it’s mainly him talking and them nodding, but it seems more of an encouraging one than one of polite disinterest. Most of their answers or comments have been pretty to the point, save for a few here or there. Rarely, they’ll offer some additional commentary - he clings to it like he’s drowning. 

Claude takes this as his chance to pull out his list (a cool 6 and a half pages) Byleth at least had been able to confirm some of the easier stuff. Yes, the house belonged to their mother’s side of the family, yes it hadn’t been unoccupied for a good twenty years. There’s a couple one off here they can confirm off the top of their head. But the rest seems to be just as mysterious to them as it is to him. Though when he mentions the name “Rhea” he sees them pause slightly.   
  
“It sounds… Familiar.” the corner of their lips drop to a frown for a second before returning to neutral. “Why does it sound familiar?”   
  
“Didn’t your dad say anything about them?”   
  
Byleth looks away, and he sees their grip tightened on the can of soda. It’s enough to make him regret asking. “He didn’t like to talk about the past”   
  
“Well how about this” Claude puts on his most charming face. It’s hard to see if its working, since Byleth’s expressions seem mainly to consist of blank, blank and um. Blank, but it’s the best weapon he’s got. “You have us, the golden deer investigates, solve the mystery of your family's past. And in exchange… ”   
  
“I already told you -” he stops them with a wave of his hand.   
  
“Please. We’re professionals. In so that we somehow get paid to do this stuff.” Byleth’s eyebrows raise at that “And to be honest. I would put actual money down that your house is some hotbed for the supernatural. It’s creepy enough for it. I’d be surprised if it hasn’t been used in some low-budget horror movie” He swears they let out a small snort of amusement at that.   
  
“I’ll think about it.” Claude sees a flicker of a smile pass before it’s gone. “My uncle should be here a couple of days.”   
  
“I remember.” And now that he’s formed some sort of tenable relationship with Byleth, he can focus in on that. “You think they’d be amenable to answering questions?”   
  
“Probably not.” Byleth considers again. “Well. Especially not if it’s you.”   
  
“Me?” He sputters, mock offended. “What’s that supposed to mean?”   
  
“You just seem like someone he would hate.”   
  
He’s about to protest further but the closing of the front door and footsteps down the corridor. “Claude, what on earth are you wearing.”   
  
“Lorenz! Looking exasperated as ever.” he chirps back. Ignatz trails after Lorenz, carrying a good 8 or so bags of take-out compared to Lorenz’s one or two.   
  
“No thanks to you. I cannot believe you didn’t even have the decency to put on _ pants _ before meeting with our esteemed guest. Are you completely brain dead?” Instead of replying, Claude just winks back. It’s worth the dramatic eyeroll Lorenz gives him.   
  
To their credit, Byleth is ignoring both of them, instead making their way over to the kitchen counter to help Ignatz set down the rest of the food. “Oh, I’ve got it. Please, get comfortable.” Ignatz tries to wave them off, but Byleth stubbornly helps him anyways. It’s borderline endearing. 

“So. How was work?” Claude leans over the couch to look at Lorenz as well as watch Byleth and Ignatz in the kitchen. The two of them are talking low enough that he can’t make it out, but neither of them look particularly upset so he’ll take that as a win. “You’re still helping your old man with that Hyrm fraud case?”   
  
Lorenz snorts, finally putting the bags in his hand on the counter. Within seconds, Byleth has its contents removed and is balling up the rest of the plastic bags. “That is confidential information. I’m not supposed to tell you anything.” Claude waits and Lorenz cracks like an egg. “But yes. Unfortunately.” 

Lorenz’ father has always been what he would call a ‘tool’, but he’s a shrewd lawyer and eve shrewder businessman. If the man didn’t have a piggy bank instead of a heart he might admire the guy. But as it stands, there are few defense cases the Gloucester and family law firm will not take on for the right price. He’d fucked up Lorenz good too - when he had met the guy back in high school it’d been a wonder any of them had put up with him for longer than 3 minutes. But underneath all that terrible pompous exterior was one of the most eloquent and caring people he’d met. You just needed to spend years sanding off all the elitism first.

( “That man will choke on his own avarice” Lorenz had confessed to one night after the rest of the group had gotten completely plastered on homemade margaritas. The rest of the group passed out all over Hilda’s living room save for him and Lorenz.   
  
“Why do you put up with it?”   
  
Lorenz let out a deep sigh. “Because, Claude.” His response is tired - it's the kind of weariness the guy rarely shows. “As easy as you may find it to cast yourself from your familial relationships and obligations, I cannot.” Claude disagrees, but he doesn’t say anything for once.   
  
“And there is a lot more good I can do now as a voice of reason than I can if he were to completely cut me off.” He raised his glass in a mock cheer. “Besides, I do _ so _ wish to see his face when I take over someday. I’ll be able to truly savor his disappointment.”   
  
Claude took his cup of water and clinked it with Lorenz. “I’ll cheers to that.”)   
  
Claude’s able to shake out a few more details from Lorenz, but in exchange he shoots back with a question of his own. “Would I be correct to assume you didn’t finish going through the rest of the finances?” Claude winces. He’d… almost finished it.   
  
The disappointed look Lorenz gives him is one for the ages. Claude tries to look preoccupied in watching Byleth and Ignatz - who seem to be in pretty animated conversation about something. Well, animated on Ignatz front - Byleth does the same thing they’d done with him. Saying little, but still seeming to be actively listening. He catches the words “gable end” and “veranda” though, so he’s probably gushing to them about how beautiful their house is. Weird choice for bonding, but Byleth doesn’t seem to mind.   
  
“I was… busy?” He gestures toward the kitchen, where Byleth and Ignatz are still chatting away. Lorenz doesn’t take the bait, and just continuing to look at him with disappointment as he chastises him.   
  
It seems to catch their guest’s attention though. “Want me to take a look?” Byleth says between chewing what appears to be half an egg roll from the look of what’s in their hand. Ignatz looks at bit at a loss, like he’d tried to stop them from picking something out and somehow failed miserably. “I’m good at it.”   
  
“You’re good at what now.”   
  
Byleth tilts their head and stuff the rest of the eggroll in their mouth. “I’m an accountant. Mostly.”   
  
There’s a tinge of hysteria to the giggle that Claude lets out. He vaguely remembers them mentioning something about tax documents when they’d first met but he’d been more focused on the whole ‘stranger who lives in the formerly abandoned creepy house’. Also _ an accountant? _ What’s spookier than having the new mysterious person in town move into local haunted house and only have them say ‘oh, I deal with FINANCES for a living’ “Mostly?”   
  
“I teach online too.”   
  
Claude actually considers it. On one hand, if someone walked into your house and said ‘hey let me, a trained professional at taxes, do your taxes for you, for free.’, what are you going to do? Say no? Well, on the other…. He thinks back to the pile of information that you could dig out from there if you really tried. He’s not sure he’d trust _ anyone _ to look through there.   
  
“No, no I got it” The smile on his face feels painted on. Byleth doesn’t push - choosing to shrug and go back to trying to pilfer the rest of the takeout which Ignatz is valiantly defending. Byleth reaches around and grabs another egg roll anyways.   
  
Thankfully the rest of the crew starts to file in before Lorenz can protest further and Byleth eats the rest of their food. It starts with Leonie and Hilda and followed by Lysithea and Raphael (Marianne had to skip tonight because of family stuff, but Hilda’s ‘so kindly’ volunteered to let her know. “Does it really count as kindness if she’s your girlfriend?” Lysithea had said yesterday, but Hilda smiles sweetly and ignores her) and the living room and kitchen fills with conversation and the grabbing of the miscellaneous food and snacks.   
  
For a good hour the rest of the team talk amongst themselves about how there weeks been going - the latest newbie Leonie had to take down a couple pegs at the gym, Raphael’s construction mishaps, Hilda’s newest creation. (‘Nice pants’ Hilda winks. He does _ not _dignify that with a response.) Usually Claude would be more engaged, but he finds himself watch their guest more often than not. Mainly, Byleth keeps to themselves on the couch, greeting the others when come up to say hello, but choosing not to engage for the most part. Though he finds they’re flanked by Ignatz and Lysithea once the two of them have finished the rest of their food. 

(Lysithea plops down next Byleth, cake in hand. Byleth doesn’t notice at first - their focused on the plate in front of them and on their phone that their typing with their free hand. With glasses on? It connects in his mind that they must be near-sighted.  
  
“Lysithea. Don’t think we’ve met.”   
  
They look over nonchalantly, their phone put away. “Byleth.”   
  
He hears her voice rise indignantly and Claude waits for the inevitable lecture to come afterwards. “Claude wasn’t _ pushy _ or anything yesterday was he? I know how he can be when he wants something”   
  
“No” they shoot her down gently. “I wanted to be here.”   
  
“Oh.” The fight drains out of her quickly. “Then what are you doing over here? The table would probably be easier to eat at.”   
  
“I was wondering the same thing” Ignatz pipes up from their other side, a slice of cake on his plate as well. “Do you mind if we keep you company?”   
  
He thinks he sees an honest smile on their face then. It’s small, but it stays there as they continue. “If you want.” He catches enough hear Ignatz launches back into his earlier discussion of Fodlan architecture, but Lorenz and Hilda get into another loud argument before he can catch the rest.) 

Leonie’s the one to break away from the other golden deer first. “We’ve got a meeting to conduct right? Everyone get on the couch.” The rest of the deer squeeze onto the couch. Byleth for the most part, is still focused on their food, bringing their knees up and balancing their paper plate precariously in order to make room. It’s adorable.   
  
The meeting goes fairly quickly - their big kickoff for the summer was last week where they plotted out their general filming schedule. Though he’s moved some of it around in the last couple days to deal with the whole ‘haunted house on monastery road and its sole occupant’. (though he’d wanted to shoot that at the end of the summer anyways.) They’ve got two night shoots and a day shoot in the next two weeks, and then a lot of writing and editing in between. After five years, the group works almost like a well oiled machine, throwing out ideas and updates quickly with both Ignatz, Lysithea and him taking notes.   
  
“Shouldn’t we address the elephant in the room?” Hilda looks pointedly at Byleth, who during the whole exchange had been sitting silently in the middle of the couch. All eyes turn to look at them, and Byleth, poor thing, looks around startled. It’s like they’d forgotten they were the interloper here.   
  
“Am I the elephant?”  
  
Lysithea examines them “You haven’t run screaming yet. That must mean Claude didn’t completely mess it up.”   
  
“Or they could just be too polite to say no.” Lorenz raises one perfectly plucked eyebrow. Has he mentioned that his friends are the worst?   
  
He sniffs offendedly. “I’ll have you know they said they’d think about it” Hilda, as always, reads between the lines.  
  
“But that’s not a yes.” Byleth shrugs a bit helplessly.   
  
“Just invite them to go film with us!” Raphael booms from the back. “Once they see us in action they won’t be able to wait for us to get into their house!” It’s actually not a bad idea - Byleth must think so too, because they seem to pause to think on it. Hilda looks between him and Raphael with an eyebrow arched. He shrugs. Sure they never have a… non-chaotic shoot day, but that’s what was part of the fun. To be honest, Claude’s a little upset he hadn’t come up with it - what better way to convince them?   
  
“Maybe.” They decide before adding. “Unless it’s too much trouble.”   
  
Raphael laughs “No trouble at all! Right guys?” There’s a chorus of agreement for the most part.   
  
Hilda sighs, but at least she’s smiling “Good grief. If you’re sure.”   
  
Byleth sure doesn’t look sure, but they don’t say anything else until the meeting adjourns for the night. While Lysithea is out the door like a shot today, the rest of the crew stays behind for a bit- Ignatz, Claude, Hilda, and Lorenz discuss some additional logistics, while Leonie and Raphael seem to be deep discussion with Byleth about what he guesses is their work out regimen. (Are the three of them comparing arms? From the looks of it Byleth just edges out Leonie and she looks furious about it.)   
  
“I… need to go” Byleth says once else but Hilda has left. “You want me to text you when my uncle is around, right?”   
  
Claude puts on one of his patented Charming Smiles “Yeah, if you don’t mind. Thanks for coming out. Have a safe drive home.” Hilda, for that, gives him one of her patented _looks _\- she knows he’s hamming it up for sure.   
  
For some reason that makes Byleth frown slightly, “Sure.” They dig into their pockets and leave some coins on the table. “For dinner.” Before he can protest, they’re down the hallway in a flash with the front door closing behind them. Maybe they _are_ some sort of cryptid.   
  
“That’s not like you.” He’s walking Hilda to the door when she brings that up. “Usually you’re a stickler for not letting anyone else on our filming trips. Remember when my brother asked and you and Lysithea shot that down? He cried to me about it for a _week”_  
  
It’s true he doesn’t like it, but as he remembers, Holst is about as subtle as a punch to the face. He reminds Hilda of that and she rolls her eyes. “Whatever, you know what I mean. It’s just…” She looks at him then with that all knowing look. “Let me know if I can do anything, okay?”   
  
“You, offer to help? What have you done with my best friend?” She punches him lightly on the shoulder, though it still definitely stings.  
  
“You know what I mean, dumbass.” Her face softens a fraction and Claude looks away. “Just… just text me.” Hilda waves and he watches her until she gets to her care and starts the engine.   
  
“Help, huh?” he mutters shaking his head. Is that what it seems like he needs? Does Byleth throw off his game that much? Either he’s a much worse liar than he thinks, or Hilda’s referring to something else entirely. It’s not worth thinking about now though. There’s a spreadsheet he’s got to wrestle to the ground before the night is out. And with that, he lets the door slam behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me to myself: if the slow burn referring to the romance or the ghosts........  
(i gave myself a lot of setup ok...... more ghost action coming next chapter I PROMISE....... )


	4. From Stage Left, The Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You’re earlier than I expected.” Byleth drawls at the doorway. It’s 10am and he feels like ass. He blinks back blearily at them, large coffee in hand. In contrast, they look like they’ve been awake for hours - looking down at him in an oversized whale shark hoodie and some bizarre basketball short that have “BITCH” in big bold letters on the front. (He tries not to take it personally) “Considering the last message I got from you was at.” They pull their phone out of their hoodie pocket. “3AM” 
> 
> \--
> 
> Claude stumbles upon more spooky mysteries as well as Byleth's family. Byleth is (mostly) indifferent, Flayn is a delight and Seteth is.... Seteth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *rushes in and slams this chapter down* I GOT ONE MORE IN BEFORE THE END OF THE SPOOKY MONTH HALLELUJAH

**Byleth** **  
** My Uncle says he will be here tomorrow at noon  
  
**Claude**  
wack  
how early can i get there without it being weird

**Byleth  
** Um.  
I’ll be awake at 6  
So whenever after that.

**Claude**  
haha what  
oh for work right

**Byleth**  
No?  
I just get up at 6.  
  
**Claude**  
there’s no way ur a real human person   
that or ur secretly 70 years old

**Byleth**  
I’m slated for geriatric care as we speak.  
I’ll have to call the nurse to change my bed pan  
  
**Claude**  
alien seems more likely.  
and what kind of 70 year old can outflex leonie  
  
**Byleth  
**I think you need to go to the gym more often.  
  
**Claude**  
wait what does that mean.  
  
**Claude**  
you don’t get to just drop that and then later out of the conversation.  
i want to know more about these alleged buff old people  
where are they??? how do u know them????  
  
**Claude  
**Byleth please you can’t leave me hanging like this.  
  
“You’re earlier than I expected.” Byleth drawls at the doorway. It’s 10am and he feels like ass. He blinks back blearily at them, large coffee in hand. In contrast, they look like they’ve been awake for hours - looking down at him in an oversized whale shark hoodie and some bizarre basketball short that have “BITCH” in big bold letters on the front. (He tries not to take it personally) “Considering the last message I got from you was at.” They pull their phone out of their hoodie pocket. “3AM”  
  
Despite, as he usually does before noon, feeling like absolute death, he’s able to crack some semblance of joke. “Not fish related this time?”  
  
“My cousin has the fish one.” they reply blandly, opening the door wider to let him in. He follows after tiredly. The front room seems about the same as before, though actually swept and dusted and slightly less creepy with daylight filtering through the boards around the windows at the first floor and large bay window above it. But only slightly, considering the entirety of the second floor seems to somehow be shrouded in darkness.  
  
How is that possible? There’s windows all over this damn house - even if there were curtains up there (he makes a mental note to do a walk around the house later), the light from the front room should be enough to illuminate more than just vague darkness. He takes a photo with his phone for later, wondering if Lysithea will have any better ideas than he does.  
  
“You still can’t go upstairs.” Byleth snaps his attention back to the first floor. He’d swear they look cross.  
  
“Well you can’t just leave it at that.” He decides the best course of action is to call them out on their previous lie. “Those stairs look fine, so I have to ask. Why not?”  
  
He sees Byleth’s eye wander up the stairs and back down to look at him. Or… past him? It’s just like when he was here before - like there’s something their seeing that he isn’t. “Because it’s dangerous.”  
  
He scoffs good naturedly, but there’s a weird edge to their voice he can’t quite place. “You live here. It can’t be that bad.”  
  
“Sure.” They shrug and change the subject. “Did you want to see anything while you wait?”  
  
He does - he lets them lead him to the library and the photos Lorenz had taken in do not do it justice. The room is massive - A large fireplace on one side and the doors seem to be the only places without shelving. He’d imagine some small town libraries are smaller than this place.

It does look like since they’ve been here Byleth’s taken some more initiative in cleaning the place up, but that cleaning looks like it mainly has consisted of stripping most of the books from the shelves and putting them in piles on the ground. They look moderately embarrassed by it at least “It was dusty.” 

He’s sure his room has looked about three times worse over the past six years, but he’s not going to admit to that - instead he’s sits himself between two hefty stacks and starts sorting. Byleth for their part, lingers too. They gravitate to the last wall of books still shelved and start removing them to place on the floor as well. The pair work in silence for a bit before he gets too curious and blurts out whatever small talk he can think of. “So how do you like the rest of the golden deer?”  
  
There’s a pause in Byleth’s shuffling before there's’ a response: “I like them.” He lets the conversation and ebb and flow as they go, filling them in more on the golden deer, carefully pawing around anything that might reveal more about himself. Byleth, in turn, is similarly withdrawn but he gets the feeling their reason isn’t the same. Though it does make any fact he can gleam from them feel like he’s dug out a prized treasure.  
  
(“She works at a gym?” Claude can tell by their tone that they want to know more.  
  
“Yeah, a boxing gym. I can give you the address.” Out of the corner of their eye they see Byleth pause mid shelving.  
  
“Because of my dad, huh.” the words come out quiet. He’d wondered if Leonie had brought that up, but he can’t imagine her… not doing that. It’s been five years since Jeralt was killed, but he imagines losing anyone that way, let alone the parent that raised you, isn’t something you just… get over.   
  
Claude’s reply is equally soft “I would guess so.”  
  
He hears them sigh, but they’ve resumed packing. “I would appreciate it. And so will my physical therapist.” he’s not sure what that means, but he files it for later) 

The more he sorts through these, though the more questions he has. There’s a lot of what he would call “normal old books”- antiquated novels he’s sure would make bank if they decided to sell them or science books that haven’t been up to date in several decades. He even finds a bunch of untranslated Almyran and Dagdan texts floating around, which he hasn’t seen much in Fodlan outside of his own home.  
  
What really catches his eye is the amount of old occult books he finds. He’d consider himself a season veteran in the supernatural world at this point - there is no website he has not stripped of any useful information nor big player in the game he hasn’t smoozed up to. But the stuff he finds here would be enough to make even their eyes bulge. Because it’s all _ old as balls _. Vintage works on the occult are a precious commodity, and he feels like he finds something interesting with every other glance. He’s even sure there’s one or two books he’s only seen rumoured grainy photos of. 

He takes one in his hand and flips through the pages - it’s not in any language _ he _ recognizes which is…. Not what he was expecting at all. Nabetean maybe? Though why there’d be a book from a language that had died out before the printing press is beyond his purview. Where had he seen this title before?  
  
**Clau-deez nuts  
** yo ly check this shit out  
<img_0169>

**Sith Lord Ly  
**It looks like a pile of books. 

**Clau-deez nuts  
** wow u really are a genius  
fuck off and take an actual look  
I dont have wifi out here i wanna confirm something

**Sith Lord Ly  
**I’m looking i’m looking

**Sith Lord Ly  
**Claude, are you raiding a university library again

**Clau-deez nuts  
** nah my man  
this is just at byleth’s HOUSE

**Sith Lord Ly  
** That’s not  
How is that possible?  
Claude, some of these books you can’t find in MUSEUMS  
The book you’re holding rumoured to be used to summon demonic beasts

**Clau-deez nuts  
** yeah?  
dope.

**Sith Lord Ly**  
Sure. Dope.  
Excuse me while I burn this house to the ground

**Clau-deez nuts  
** ghosts aren’t scared of fire  
also please don’t  
at least wait til i leave.

He thinks he sees a flash of green hair and hears Byleth say something, but he doesn’t catch what it is before he looks up and gets to catch all the stacks of books around him collapsed on top of him. He loses his grip on his phone and the book he’s holding as the weight flattens him down to the wood floor.  
  
“Why did you-” There’s a pause and a quiet “Oh.” in the background as he sputters out of the giant pile of books that’s now surrounding him. Thankfully he’s not bruised but there was definitely a moment or two where his life flashed before his eyes. (It seems like an on brand way for him to go, if he was honest.) He finds his phone easily enough, but the book that was in his hands is gone. Claude looks at Byleth and sees it in their hands - they’re staring at the cover like its going to jump out at them, a slight tremor in their shoulders.  
  
“How did you... “ He swallows. Byleth looks up - it's the first expression he’s seen really stick to their face, and of all things, it's surprise.  
  
“This-” They’re interrupted by a loud throat clearing that he faintly realizes he recognizes.  
  
“Claude von Riegan. Host of Golden Deer Investigates. Former Law student at Garreg Mach University. I knew we’d cross paths this way at some point, but I had _ hoped _ my family would have heeded my warnings about talking to opportunistic strangers ”  
  
He almost drops back down and shoves the books back over himself. He’d really hoped to never hear that voice again, but there he is - Seteth Cichol himself, not wearing a suit jacket for once, but still dressed to the (relative) nines. Professor at his Alma Mater and his teacher for a good three of his classes. He may or may not have spent those three classes being a general pain in the ass but it’s not like Seteth didn’t make it _ easy _ to push his buttons. (“Mr. von Riegan for the last time, we are not going to discuss the ethics of civil forfeiture . this is an introduction to family law class.” “You can’t silence the people, Professor!” _ ) _ Besides what teenager doesn’t see a stuck up authority figure and automatically want to see how many buttons they can push?  
  
(“Most teenagers.” Hilda had replied boredly when he’d brought that up. Lorenz, for his part, looked appalled.)  
  
The guy was sharp as a tack, no nonsense, fiercely private, and generally was someone Claude had hoped never to interact with after his time at school. Seteth had always seemed more perturbed by him than the other real shitbags in the class, but considering his family apparently has a huge collection of occult books, it’s not too hard to put two and two together and think he just didn’t want Claude digging into… whatever the hell was going on here. Which is…. Completely fair in hindsight.   
  
Seteth’s prattling on, but honestly he’s only half paying attention at this point, as much as seeing Seteth feels his soul with the sense of deep annoyance. There’s a barely perceptible nod his way and Byleth drops the book on the ground and push over another small pile of books over it with their feet while Seteth’s not focused on them. He pretty impressed by the feint innocent look they give as they look between him and their uncle once they’ve done. Could give Hilda a run for his money with a doe eyed look like that. 

“He’s not a stranger.”  
  
He can see the frustration building in Seteth’s expression from experience. “Is he not? I think I remember _specifically _saying something about letting types like him into our family home.”  
  
Man, that’s rude, even for Seteth. “Hey.”  
  
“I was not.” The glare Seteth gives him probably could kill small animals. “Talking to you, Mr. von Riegan.”   
  
Good thing he’d been immune to _that _since two months into his first year at school. “Right, sure. Seems totally fair to take potshots at me like I’m not here.”  
  
“I could have you arrested for trespassing.Would you like that instead?”  
  
“Seteth - ”  
  
“It’s not your house! It’s theirs!”  
  
“Claude - ”  
  
“A mistake that can be easily remedied.”  
  
Claude’s about to respond before he hears another crash, this time from across the room as books seem to tumble on their own accord off the shelves. He can see the surprise easily on Seteth’s face, but Byleth just looks off with a bored expression. “Enough.” Seteth stares back, mouth drawn into a thin line. “Let me talk with my uncle, Claude.”  
  
Claude thinks about saying more, but decides it's not a battle worth fighting today. “ Sure. Okay. I’ll be… outside then.” Byleth nods absentedly, still staring Seteth. He takes the time to pull the different pieces at play. Weird ancient books? Secretive family? Books flying across the room on their own? Minimum, it's a weird cult. Or the barista spiked his coffee. Maybe both?  
  
He’s surprised to see another person waiting on the porch as well. “Oh! I didn’t expect to see anyone else here.” She’s got the same green colored hair as Seteth, though it reaches her shoulders in tight curls. He’d say she looks like about fourteen with her floppy straw sunhat and gingham apron cut dress. “Are you a friend of Byleth’s?”  
  
“I’m…” He considers briefly before choosing his answer. The truth would probably be too much to explain. “Yeah. You’re Byleth’s cousin then.”  
  
“Yes!” Her expression brightens even further as she holds out her hand.“I’m Flayn. It’s so good to see my cousin making friends.”  
  
“Claude.” When she doesn’t react to it, he takes it as a sign that Seteth at least hadn’t complained about him by name. He’s not sure whether to be offended or relieved.“Byleth said you have matching sweatshirts.”  
  
Flayn radiates excitement and good-nature. “Of course! I got it for all the cousins! I have pictures!” She’s all too eager to pull out her phone and show him - Flayn seems to be in the center, grinning in her fish hoodie, while what looks like an Almyran boy in a shark hoodie stands to her left making a funny face. To her right, is Byleth, in what he would best describe as a confused dab and the cherry on top - a tired looking Seteth in the background holding a coffee mug that he thinks reads “World’s Okayest Uncle”  
  
“Wow”  
  
“Don’t we look great?” She beams back. He’s got to admit, they really do. It’s heart melting to say the least. And it paints a very different picture of Byleth than he’d been imagining. Not so much of a quiet lone wolf who moves into an abandoned house to get away, and more of the awkward family member who moved away to do... something else. It makes even less sense if they’re not involved with the weird shit that’s going on in their house. Why else would they leave a family they seem to be so close to?  
  
Flayn doesn’t wait for his answer before she’s moved the conversation onward. Unlike Byleth, Flayn seems to relish in the conversation, but he’s got the feeling her secrets are even more layered than theirs. He pokes and prods a bit about their house and their family, but she avoids all his questions, albeit clumsily. (“Don’t you think it’s weird you guys have a lot of random occult books?” “Oh! Well um. You know how people are!” “Uh huh.” “Nothing says ‘quirky’ like researching the supernatural, right?” “Right” “Anyways, want to see a pictures our last camping trip?”) 

Flayn is the middle of telling him why they’re in town (“Oh, Father is running some errands over in Alliance territory and he wanted to check on By-”) when Byleth comes to the front door. “Flayn.”  
  
“Oh By!” She smiles, then looks back into the house. “ Where is father?”  
  
“Thinking about his life choices.”  
  
Flayn frowns. “You didn’t lock him in the bathroom again, did you?”  
  
“No.”  
  
Claude can’t help the laugh that stumbles out. “Did you really-”  
  
“It was an accident the first time.” They frown and throw a glance back into the house. “I think.” At that, Flayn giggles.  
  
“She is quite a menace when she wants to be, hmm?”  
  
Byleth rolls their eyes. “You have no idea.”  
  
“Who?” It’s like Flayn had forgotten he was here - she gapes back and stammers out her weakest excuse yet. Byleth doesn’t bother. Just tilts their head and shrugs. It’s both infuriating and sort of amusing how little effort they put into trying to appease him.  
  
Byleth is changing the subject. “You will have to come back another time, Claude. I’m sorry.” He almost swears he can see a smile when they say the next thing. “Though. Seeing Seteth so upset at someone that isn’t Catherine sure is something.”  
  
That catches Flayn’s interest again. “Oh? Do you know father?”  
  
“Know?” Claude echoes. “Know is a…. Strong word”  
  
“‘That menace derailed a lecture once a week in the first class I had him in’” Byleth’s completely monotone impression of Seteth is terrible but it sends Flayn into fits of giggles. “‘I don’t think I saw him take notes once. And yet he still aced all my exams. Don’t get me started on his terrible _internet show’”_  
  
Claude shrugs. “See? Barely knows me. Because my internet show is _excellent _and I only got a B+ in that class.” Flayn’s giggles have turned into full fledged laughter at this point - she’s covering her mouth with her hands, but she’s almost doubled over. Byleth, in turn, is actually full fledged _smiling. _They look at Flayn with a sort of fondness that makes his head hurt. And when they direct it at him, he can feel his heart drop straight into his stomach.  
  
“Excellent seems like an exaggeration” They tease and he laughs nervously. What the fuck?  
  
“That does sound like father.” Flayn wheezes. “You should see him and our aunt go at it.”  
  
Byleth’s still smiling and he still feels terrible. He’s an adult, he reasons feebly, he’s got to be better than this. “You know Catherine and Shamir hate it when you call them that.”  
  
“No, I meant Rhea.” He knows she didn’t mean to say it by the way she covers her mouth dramatically and her eyes widen, but it's the way Byleth’s body language stiffens completely that really catches his attention.   
  
“Rhea?” Claude’s a bit surprised when Byleth says that at the same time has him.  
“Is that why she sounded….” They search for the words. “Familiar.”  
  
“How do you not remember….” The question dies on his lips when he sees Flayn reach over to touch Byleth’s shoulder. She looks tired, older. Like there’s more she wants to say.  
  
It’s becoming more and more apparent there are things at play that Byleth isn’t aware of. No wonder they’d even thought about asking for help - their own family is keeping them in the dark about things. Is it an angle he can use? It’s a thought he pushes aside, to be polished and examined later.  
  
“Yes, Cousin.” The smile on her face is melancholic. “I imagine it would.”  


\--  
  
**Clau-deez Nuts** **  
** So i met the uncle and cousin and u’ll never guess.  
<img_069>  
  
**Hi hi Hilda  
**taking sleath pictures again? hi creeper

**Clau-deez Nuts **  
desperate times  
  
**Lorenz Hellman Gloucester** **  
** Is that Professor Cichol?  
I did not know he had a daughter.  
  
**Clau-deez Nuts**  
ya shes nice enough.   
considering her father is still a righteous dick.

**Hi hi Hilda  
**And not just because he looks like a hot priest in that getup

**Clau-deez Nuts  
**HEYO

**Lorenz Hellman Gloucester  
** Ugh  
Why must you both be so crass  
  
**Sith Lord Ly**  
anyone else surprised by how adorable Byleth’s cousin is?  
she looks like a porcelain doll  
  
**Clau-deez Nuts** **  
** ur just glad we now know someone who’s younger than u.  
  
**Sith Lord Ly** **  
** I know where you live.  
  
**Victor, Ignatz** **  
** Byleth said they’re older than them though.  
  
**Clau-deez Nuts** **  
** how do u know that.  
  
**Victor, Ignatz**  
I….. asked?

**Clau-deez Nuts**

when????? 

**Victor, Ignatz**

When we all met up??? I asked about their family???  
  
**Clau-deez Nuts**

whyd you do that  
  
**Victor, Ignatz**  
It’s called… small talk?   
Claude you’re making this weird.  
  
**Lorenz Hellman Gloucester**  
I beg your pardon? There is no way that’s possible.  
  
**Bad grl Leonie  
** She looks like she’s about to start high school.  
Byleth’s at _ least _ in their mid twenties.  
  
**Hi hi Hilda  
**U think she’ll give me her beauty routine.

**Clau-deez Nuts  
** considering about two thirds of her responses about her personal life were different versions of ‘who’s to say’ i’m gonna thing that’s a no, dog. 

**Hi hi Hilda  
**Well im more charming than u

**Clau-deez Nuts**  
go ahead. ill relish in ur disappointment  
  
**Snow White**  
Claude, that was rude.  
  
**Bad grl Leonie**  
Ooof, a Mariane callout. Rare to see one of those.  
  
**Clau-deez Nuts**

Well i did just have Seteth threaten arrest me.  
  
**Lorenz Hellman Gloucester**  
HE DID WHAT?  
  
**Bad grl Leonie**  
EXCUSE ME?   
  
**Clau-deez Nuts**  
relax ive got this handled.  
  
**Hi hi Hilda  
** Im not bailing you out of jail  
  
**Clau-deez Nuts** **  
**I know thats why i keep nader around. 

  
\--  
  
**Byleth**  
I’m sorry about my uncle.  
  
**Claude**  
no worries. whatd he take?  
  
**Byleth**  
As much of the occult books as he could fit in his car.   
Which considering he drives a sedan not as much as you’d think.  
  
**Claude** **  
** damn. though surprised he hadn’t cleaned it out sooner.  
  
**Byleth**  
I’m not.  
It’s been… a rough couple of years.  
  
**Claude **  
no kidding?  
  
**Byleth**  
He didn’t get the book you were looking at though.  
  
**Claude **  
dope  
can i have it?  
  
**Byleth**  
What would you use it for?  
It’s in Nabatean. 

**Claude** **  
** i have contacts. I can dig some info up.  
Unless well. you know.  
  
**Byleth** .  
Probably not as much as your… experts do.  
I’ll think about it.  
  
**Claude**  
Rumor has it can summon  
~demons~  
  
**Byleth**  
I’ll try not to read it in front of a mirror three times  
  
**Claude**  
no thats bloody mary  
  
**Byleth**  
Besides  
I know someone who can translate.  
  
**Claude**  
really?  
just so happen to know someone who can read an ancient language  
  
**Byleth **  
Something like that  
  
**Claude**  
that's ... vague.  
but it’s yours  
  
**Byleth**  
I’ll keep you updated.  
And thanks.  
For being nice to Flayn.  
  
**Claude**  
oh she’s a delight  
no trouble at all.   
  
**Byleth** **  
** I can’t tell if you're being…. sarcastic  
  
**Claude** **  
** Im not but uh **  
** shes...enigmatic.  
  
**Byleth** **  
** I suppose.  
I thought you liked mysteries

  
He’s laying in bed when that message comes up, blinking blearily in the dark. He does like mysteries, problem solving. But that’s because he likes knowing things, likes to feel like he’s the smartest one in the room. Life is just one big problem to solve, and he’s always had to be several steps ahead to get anything.  
  
But the deeper he gets into this, the more he figures out, the less it makes sense. It occurred to him on the drive back - what if that green haired ghost that Claude had seen the first time, Byleth could see.... All the time. Or enough that they can communicate with them. But what the ghost haunting? The House? Byleth maybe? Can Byleth see other ghosts? He’s suddenly even more thankful Raphael had suggested they come along with them - if he’s in luck one of the two places will actually be haunted and he can watch and see.  
  
But it doesn’t explain everything. _ Why _ did Byleth move here in the first place? Why didn’t they remember Rhea? Or for that matter, what had Rhea done that they’d almost erased her any records and apparently barely talked about her? Curiouser and curiouser.   
  
(There’s also something slinking in the back of his mind too. Something in the way they smiled at Flayn, or when he catches glimmers of their dry humor. It’s the kind of something he doesn’t want to think about. Yet. Or ever. Whichever he can get away with.)

**Claude  
**I do, but theres a difference between mysterious and just vague

**Byleth  
** Hmm.  
And what am I?

**Claude  
**Still just mysterious ;)

He doesn’t get any more messages that night, but he likes to think its a satisfying answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Claude: WHAT DOES IT MEAN????? WHAT DOES IT MEAN????  
Byleth: lmao 
> 
> My friend drew some more excellent [Byleth in terrible outfits](https://twitter.com/cieratroyart/status/1184662675860705280) art from last chapter!!! 
> 
> I'm on twitter @mandkips but im a mess so be warned.

**Author's Note:**

> [Yes the shirt I put Byleth in is real](https://represent.com/the-rodfather-fishing-shirt)  
  
Find me on twitter @mandkips


End file.
